It’s toasted

In Uncategorized on July 21, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Posted by Andy “Grills” Bell

These are times when the major questions about our society & our lives need to be asked.

In parliaments,  lounge bars and across dining room tables there  is rabid debate.

And the topic that gets the blood pressure levels into the red zone more than most is … how to make a good toasted sandwich.

It has taken me years of struggle to optimise my heated bread receptacle cheese & other product delivery system experience.

But I have now reached toastie nirvana.

I wasted years, yes years, putting my faith in top class bread with “good bits” in it.

You know the drill: oats, barley, pumpkin seeds & all that chewy ruffage malarkey.

I even tried loaves with extra malarkey and enhanced kerfuffle.

These were baked goods bearing the slogans like “Maximising Men’s Health” & “Makes Your Naughty Bits Operate Better”all over them.

But none of them cut the mustard, although I never used mustard as a spread, when it came to my quest for the elusive but desired perfect toastie.

Then, on a whim – it’s a kind of tricycle made in South Australia (they’re free settlers you know) – I decided to do what I always do when things get tough.

I lowered my standards.

I tried bog standard supermarket brand WHITE bread.


The blandness of the bread meant the extra-extra-extra tasty cheese could do the work it was meant to do.

On top of that, the poor physical structure of the white slice allowed mucho melted cheese spillage onto the hot plate.

Burnt cheese – is there anything finer ?

And if the lactic part of the equation was a peach – actually it was cheese, but we’ve already established that – then the taste of the tomato, Spanish onion and ham fairly soared to such a level of taste terrificness that I could hardly sit down for excitement.

There are four million recipes in the naked city.

Pull on your undies and get into the kitchen or tea room.


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