Posted by Ronnie Wombat
Much has been written, spoken and squeaked about the circumstances surrounding & subsequent to “The Saturday Smile Show” on Joy 94.9 on August 18th (trading as the Full Catastrophe/operating as Nan Galloway’s Wool Shop Mordialloc Pty Ltd)
It is my intention here to clarify some issues, expand on others and basically tell you lot to move on as there is nothing to see here.
There is some audio evidence, but my legal advisers tell me I should not comment upon it.
However, these are the facts as I see them.
*I was a co-presenter of “SSS” on the above date, some might say the only one to make any sense whatsoever.
*I admit I did have to visit “the little wombat’s room” on several occasions. This was because of a medical condition which also causes nose twitching.
*I was somewhat excited by the name “Essendon”.
*I was, regretfully, a little terse at the end of the program with my alleged colleagues – Adrian Ball and Hillary Freebody.
*I did go to Crown Casino directly from the studios, neglecting to pick up my usual chicken kebab. That was a huge mistake.
*There was some disagreement at the casino when I arrived. This was about car valet services. I did not say, telex or squeak the words “show”, “me”, “the” or “money. Furthermore, no liquids were spilled & I at no time approached any female guests or staff in a “jaunty manner”.
*When the police arrived, I did not headbutt anyone. I am still at a loss to understand what happened to the fire extinguisher & I have already extended my apologies to the 16 staff members who received hospital treatment.
*When I was bailed, neither of my co-presenting humans – Anthea Breal & Hiking Victoria – contributed to the surety or made cabcharges available.
As I say, these are the facts.
In addition, my previous statement made on the “Praise The Lord Variety Hour” on SES 8 Mount Gambier still stands.
“If I have offended anyone I sincerely apologise. If I did not – get nicked. Some might say this is political correctness gone mad. Go Aker.”
Legal proceedings against my erstwhile co-presenters – Mr Arbuthnot Bull & Mr Hedley L’Estrange – are imminent.
Finally, to those who have rallied to the cause at ronnieaintnocrimorhooligan.com I say keep clicking on the banner ads as I have to eat.